This is about me and how I cope with my DID. I will try to also post articles, medical studies etc related to DID.
Before you ask: Yes I have been professionally diagnosed with DID by a licensed therapist.
The known personalities:
kay - 23, f, "fun-loving and fancy-free" [The main personality]
D - 25, f, "A professional woman working hard to get what I want"
Lola - 7, f, "I'm just a kid, what do I know?"

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Alters and Body Image

We get a lot of question about our body image (how we see ourselves) and how it differs from alter to alter even though we all really look the same on the outside. So, that is what I’m going to try and talk about today - and I hope I make it make sense.

First off, what do we look like?

Well my [kay’s] body image is that of the physical body. I’m 23, 5’0” - slim build, green eyes, buzzed red hair, and I wear glasses.

D describes her body as this: “I am taller - 5’8” or so. I have very long, blonde hair that I keep pulled up most of the time. My eyes are the bluest of blues, and my pouty lips are always a lovely pink. I am athletically built - lots of sinewy muscle. My nails are kept long, but I hardly ever have to do anything with them. I have a nice smile, and I consider myself fairly attractive. I also have to use glasses, though I would choose slimmer frames than the ones we currently have.”

Lola also has long blond hair that she keeps back with a black head band. Her face is rounder, and she does not need glasses. Picture Alice in Wonderland and you’ve pretty much got Lola. She even has the blue dress and white apron.

I would like to point out that this is what we see inside our mind for each alter. Obviously, the body does not have these different looks when each different alter is out.

Some people ask questions similar to: “When Lola is out does she look down at the body and see a little a girl’s body?” The answer is no. She looks down and sees the body as it is. We’ve had a talk and we explained to Lola, that this is what a grown up girl’s body looks like, and that the body is just more grown up that she is at the moment.

It’s a little complicated to explain, but I guess it boils down to the fact that it is all mental. I hope this helps to enlighten you. If you have any questions, you know how to ask. 

Until next time,
kay

Birthday!

Yesterday was our birthday. We all tend to celebrate the same day because we don’t all know when our own birthday’s are.

We went to the beach and had a nice Italian supper. Lola particularly enjoyed going to the beach. She doesn’t get to be out very often, and she had a great time hanging out with our guy. She thought catching the muscles and watching them dig back into the sand was the most hilarious thing in the world.

Everyone (that we are aware of) came out at one point or another, and we were all well behaved.

We don’t have many days where we were all out and it wasn’t because of some disaster or mental break down of sorts. It was nice.

I hope we can have more days like this in future.

Until next time,
kay

Who Am I, Again?

Haven’t been me lately. It’s been like the alter merry-go-round around here. But I seem to be back in action now, and I’ll post again once I’ve got my head on straight and something interesting to say.

Until then,

kay

Alters & Alcohol

Alcohol is a thing I feel like we, as a system, need to look out for not only because of the multiplicity, but because of a family history of alcoholism. Therefore, I only drink on VERY rare occasions, maybe once every four months or so. 

However, D is a different story. She like to drink socially and just when she’s having an off day. Normally, she keeps in under control and doesn’t drink too much. But when she thinks she can get away with it, she goes to town like there is no tomorrow. This has led to some very embarrassing situation for us - or rather for me, because I’m usually the one to wake up and find myself in need of explaining something or another.

It’s bad enough to have to wake up, or come back into control, and have to usually very quickly, figure out where I’m at or what is going on. It’s much more difficult when the body is drunk or hungover or even once, in the middle of being sick. YUCK!

We have tried negotiating, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She believes that in her time with the body she gets to do what she wants - whatever she wants. We have previously fought a similar battle with smoking. She smoked; Lola and myself didn’t like it. She quit, but it was a long, drawn out, and wearying. This battle seems to be much worse. But it is a battle I believe I must fight with her.

It’s sad though, really. We have enough conflict externally; I really wish there wasn’t so much internal conflict as well.